The Thing

I could tell by her countenance that she was hurting. Something was deeply troubling her. My heart broke just looking at this little girl. I offered to pray for her and she eagerly accepted. I asked if there was anything specific she needed prayer for. "Well, my friend..." then she looked up at me with uncertainty in her eyes. She quickly changed her tone of voice, "My friend, my friends, all of my friends, they all need prayer." I thought it was sweet she wanted me to pray for her friends and ironically I felt like I should specifically pray for her friends before I even approached her. But there was something more. I prayed for her friends. Prayed for their salvation and understanding. I prayed for them each briefly. Then I gave her a hug and reminded her that I love her. I couldn't see her face as she was clinging to me but it was almost as if I could hear her swallow the lump in her throat and feel her fight back the tears forming in her eyes. I asked her, "Now whats really there, deep down inside. What can I pray about for you?" She looked at me still uncertain. "Will I still love her if she tells me her deepest secret? Will it stop tearing her apart if she finally spoke to someone about it and I was able to pray for her? Would God really be able to heal her in that area?" I'm sure were all some of the thoughts that crossed her mind. I could see the wheels turning, her mind racing as all these thoughts went through her head. I could feel the enemy approaching and I'm sure he started whispering lies to her. "You cant be that vulnerable, she wont love you anymore, you'll lose all of your friends, everyone will hate you, you re a freak, prayer wont work, God doesn't hear you." Lies, all lies from the pit of hell. The enemy was trying hard to cripple this precious little girl. "Well..." she finally began to speak. "Well, there is one thing you can pray for me about...every night I think and I wonder and I pray if..." she began to be a little more transparent with me, she was vulnerable. I prayed for her. I knew this thing she asked me to pray for her bothered her, but it wasn't the thing ripping her to shreds. It wasn't the thing that kept her awake at night. It wasn't the thing that made her withdraw from her friends, afraid of what they would think. It wasn't the thing that threatened to send her into a perpetual downward spiral of depression. It was a thing, it wasn't THE thing. She was too scared to really let go and let God. She couldn't completely open up to me. She shared just enough with me to get me to think she was telling me the truth, but it wasn't the whole truth. She dared to be transparent but not raw. She just couldn't bring herself to ask for prayer. Shes so sweet, so young, so innocent. I know without a doubt nothing could make me love her less. But the enemy is relentless. He keeps her in his grip with shame and doubt over this thing, this one thing. She shared, she shared enough but it wasn't all of it. Maybe another day she would finally divulge all of it. Expose herself and find that nothing but God's pure love would come rushing in. I felt for her. I wished she wouldn't let the enemy do this to her. Then I started thinking about my own life. How many times have I been there. Far too many. That's why my heart goes out to her. Because Ive been there, time and time again. Ive wanted to share THE THING with friends and ask for help and prayer and love. The enemy is strong and clever though. He never tires. I will expose just enough of the truth to make my friends and family think Ive shared all with them, but really I'm just covering up whats really there. I try to distract them and entice them with some other bit of truth luring them away from the real truth. The whole truth. I see hope begin to rush in and I assist the enemy in blocking it. No, they will never understand. They wont care. What will they think. No, never. I just cant. Everything else but not this one thing. No. I cant. But I have to. I cant though. Pride rises. Hope is extinguished. Why? Why does this little girl continually do this to herself? Why? Lord, why?