Bridge Over Troubled Water

So I work for the Bridge Program. I loved it when I worked through City of Lodi, most days at least. I dreaded it when I started working through Lodi Unified. Most days. Not a whole lot has changed. The Bridge Program. What a quirky little name they picked out. Linking learning with fun. ha. More like Bridge Over Troubled Water. It's not as bad as it was. Seems to be getting a little bit better. I don't hate it anymore, most days. But I don't love it either. I still don't see God's hand at work there. I still don't feel God's presence there. I still don't know why God put me there. I know He did though. Some days I feel like I'm walking across that Bridge just fine, working the program. Some days I try to walk across the bridge and work the program but it doesn't seem to be working, then I look up and notice its because my Bridge is under water. Not even the bridge OVER troubled water, more like the bridge UNDER troubled water. But I noticed that they all have weaseled their little way into my heart. I first noticed it when I realized I wasn't gonna be there for a day. Just one day, that's all. I wont be there. I will still be available by phone, and oh believe me I will be calling in to check on them. I'm so worried about them, how will they be when I'm gone. Will they all be OK, will my staff run things OK, look after them alright? I'm beginning to think that half the time that's my problem. I try to do it all on my own and it just doesn't work out very well. But why do I lose my patience with them so fast. Some things my staff does that should bug me doesn't, they don't bother me really at all. But we don't mesh too well as a team either. Some days, probably most days, that's probably the problem. This particular group has never managed to click as a team. We get along just fine, everyone does their job just fine, but when you re working with kids you have got to have a united front and quite frankly we just don't have that. I'm so quick to snap at these kids and its not OK. They have managed to soften my heart though. Maybe if they just keep working their charm I will fall in love with them and it will all make things better. I don't know. At least it hasn't been as bad as it was. Although today was our first rainy day....100 kids stuck inside 1 cafeteria with no recess and no chance to burn off all their energy...YIKES! Finally things start to cool down and then God has to really cool things down with some rain. We'll see how that goes. Tomorrow of course is Halloween. Its either going to be a nice quiet day where all the kids go home early or don't show up at all...or its gonna be a crazy day...none of the kids listening all of them loud and excited for evening. Hopefully everyone is picked up early and I can get off early. Lord, use me to touch these kids and use these kids to touch me. Help soften my heart, give me patience but please don't test my patience. It's tested enough by these kids every day. God bless me, grant me peace and joy to carry with me into the darkness on this campus. Let my light shine your love like a city on a hill. Lord I love you, the first quarter is over and the second quarter is flying by. Time is going so fast and I don't want to feel like this year was a waste. I want to see lives changed this year, including my own. Help me with my attitude to set a good example for them. Lord I love you, help these kids to get to know You through me. Thank you Lord You are so good and so worthy. You are Holy my sweet Jesus. In your precious and powerful name I pray. Amen